So DC Comics used to have a team of World War II heroes called the Losers (first appearance G.I. COMBAT #138-1969) which consisted of Allied soldiers who had all suffered serious failures during their military careers. So I was thinking, what if you had to put together a modern team of DC super-heroes and call them the Losers? What horrible Morts would you pull out of the DC pantheon to create such a team? Here's what I came up with...
THE NEW LOSERS:
1) Irwin Schwab AKA Ambush Bug
First Appearence DC COMICS PRESENTS #52 (July 1983)
Besides teleportation, his main power was being super annoying.
2) G'Nort AKA Green Lantern
First Appearence JUSTICE LEAGUE INTERNATIONAL #10 (February 1988)
He got the Green Lantern gig because his uncle pulled some strings with the Guardians of the Universe.
3) Paco Romone AKA Vibe
First Appearance JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA (1st series) ANNUAL #2 (November 1984)
A super heroic break dancer. Nuff said.
4) Richard Raleigh AKA Red Bee
First Appearance HIT COMICS #1 (July 1940)
This dork trained bees to help him in his war on crime.
5) Tin the Metal Man
First Appearance SHOWCASE #37 (April 1967)
He's a robot made out of tin. Not very scary.
6) Rex the Wonder Dog
First Appearance THE ADVENTURES OF REX. THE WONDER DOG #1 (February 1952)
A dog who can speak to the other animals. He might be fun on Letterman.
7) Willie Walker AKA Black Racer
First Appearnce NEW GODS #3 (July 1971)
This aspect of death dresses like a combination between a medieval knight and an Olympic skier. Just weird.
Now, for my next theoretical exercise, I have tried to imagine what it would be like if the great Marvel Comics team, the Fantastic Four (first appearence FANTASTIC FOUR #1-1961), were created within the DC Universe. You would need a brain, a freak of nature, a babe, and a hot headed kid. Here is who I would pick for my DC Fantastic Four.
THE NEW FANTASTIC FOUR:
1) Ray Palmer AKA the Adam (Reed Richards)
First Appearence SHOWCASE #34 (October 1961)
2) Rex Mason AKA Metamorpho (Ben Grimm)
First Appearence THE BRAVE AND THE BOLD #57 (December 1964)
3) Dinah Lance AKA Black Canary (Sue Richards)
First Appearence JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA #75 (November 1969)
4) Ronnie Raymond AKA Firestorm (Johnny Storm)
First Appearence FIRESTORM #1 (March 1978)
In the 70s, Marvel put out an interesting comic book featuring an LA based team of super heroes called, the Champions. I really dug the different character dynamics and personalities and so I have decided to created a counterpart team of Champions using characters from the DC Pantheon...
THE NEW CHAMPIONS:
1) Helena Bertinelli AKA the Huntress (Black Widow)
First Appearance THE HUNTRESS # 1 (April 1989)
The team needs a bad ass chick with no natural super powers.
2) Billy Batson AKA Captain Marvel (Hercules)
First Appearance WHIZ COMICS #1 (February 1940)
To find someone to replace Marvel's Hercules, I chose a DC character with the power of Hercules (among others).
3) Norda Cantrell AKA Northwind (Angel)
First Appearance ALL-STAR SQUADRON #25
The Champions wouldn't be the Champions without a winged dude.
4) Cameron Mahkent AKA Icicle II (Iceman)
First Appearance INFINITY, INC #34 (January 34)
He's a mutant with the power to freeze stuff. Perfect replacement for Bobby Drake.
5) Jim Corrigan AKA the Specter (Ghost Rider)
First Appearance MORE FUN COMICS #52 (February 1940)
I figured the team needed an unstoppable engine of vengeance.
6) Eve Eden AKA Nightshade (Darkstar)
First Appearance CAPTAIN ADAM #82 (1966)
Nightshade and Darkstar have powers so similar they may as well be twins.
7) Jefferson Pierce AKA Black Lightning (Black Goliath)
First Appearance BLACK LIGHTNING #1 (April 1977)
They need a classy reserve member who provides some street cred.
And now, for no additional charge, I offer you an original cool team. My theme is a team of time traveling bounty hunters put together by Rip Hunter to track down villains messing with the time continuum. I present for your amusement and edification...
THE TIME HUNTERS:
1) Rip Hunter, Time Master
First Appearance SHOWCASE #20 (June 1959)
The team leader and mastermind behind this group of heroes. This team could not exist without Rip's Time-Sphere.
2) Jonah Hex
First Appearance ALL-STAR WESTERN TALES #10 (March 1972)
The best bounty hunter in any time and experienced in time travel.
3) Bright Sky After Storm AKA Arak Red-Hand, Son of Thunder
First Appearance WARLORD #48 (August 1981)
A mighty combatant and shaman. The teams warrior/priest.
4) Sergeant Frank Rock
First Appearance OUR ARMY AT WAR #81 (April 1959)
The teams tactician and field leader.
5) Buddy Blank AKA OMAC (One Man Army Corps)
First Appearance OMAC #1 (1974)
The groups power house.
6) Immortal Man
First Appearance STRANGE ADVENTURES #177 (June 1965)
As a being who is continuously reincarnated, the Immortal Man doesn't travel with the rest of the team in the Time Sphere, but meets with them in his various incarnations throughout time, acting as a temporal liaison to the others.
7) Kamandi, Last Boy on Earth
First Appearance KAMANDI #1 (November 1972)
Resourceful team mascot.
I think I've indulged the geek side of my brain enough for today.
Johnny D (Comic Book Aficionado)
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5 comments:
Here is a copy of the heroes my friend, Super-Dave would pick to be Losers...
Ok first three characters from the Legion of Super-Heros
1. Matter Eater Lad, nuff said
2. Bouncing Boy, Chuck Taine- he could change into a ball and bounce.
3. Dawnstar, that's her name. She could survive in space and track people
across space.
Now some from Earth..
4. Crimson Fox, her uniform is BROWN!!
5. Judomaster, DOESN'T KNOW ANY JUDO. Judo is nothing like karate. It's all
grappling and throwing.
6. Red Bee, guy dresses up in a red costume, invents a bee stinger gun,
works with bees? That makes you a superhero?
And the leader of the group, freshly back from the dead....
7. Ch'p, Green Lantern Squirrel. He was a friend of John Sterwart and was
run over on Mosaic. Now that I think about it John is lame and is only
around because of pigment.
Later,
Super-Dave (Reserve Member)
And here is my friend, GrimJeff's team of "Losers."
Jean-Luc,
I'm finally home with my DC book. Here's my list of Losers...
1) Ambush Bug (The quintessential "Mort")
2) Congorilla
3) Doll Man
4) Doll Girl (Make it a couple)
5) Reverb (Vibe was mediocre, and this is his brother...)
6) Fastbak (I hate most of those Kirby New Gods, and this guy is lame even for them...)
7) G'nort (Yeah, I know you picked him, but he's such a Mort I couldn't leave him out...)
There you go!
Grimjeff
"Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies within us while we live."
Here is who my friend Super-Dave picked as his version of the D.C. Fantastic four...
I would mix my team up a little.
First we start with the couple.
Scott Free (he has been written fairly smart lately)
Big Bartha (closer to Ben Grim)
Kind of an odd match, but they are husband and wife, almost like Reed and Ben if they were gay.
The other two,
Lightray or what ever his name is from the New Gods. He's a free spirit kind of like Johnny but not as much as a hothead.
and
Stargirl, she is a caring person and as close to Sue as I could think of.
This may change with time.
Super-Dave
People often wonder what is the inspiration for these super-hero lists. Here is a copy of a lively exchange between my self and my friend, Super-Dave. This should give you an idea...
David LaClair wrote:
Alright, here are two new lists for us to come up with....
1. Make a list of 5 or 10 heros to serve as Earth's champion. No world overlaping (Marvel and DC have their own lists) and they have to live on Earth.
Johnny D. Replies:
Here are my lists...
A) Five Heroes to serve as Earth's Champion (Marvel Comics)...
1) Steve Rogers AKA Captain America (The most perfect specimen of humanity in the Marvel universe)
2) Peter Parker AKA the Amazing Spider-Man (Because of his innate sense of responsibility).
3) Sue Storm AKA the Invisible Women (she is very maternal, and I think she would be very protective of Earth's children).
4) The Mighty Thor (I know that technically he's from Asgard, but he is certainly an adopted son of the earth).
5) Rick Jones (He's worked with all the best super-heros, and was a major player in the Kree/Skrull war).
B) Five Heroes to serve as Earth's Champion (DC)
1) Vic Sage AKA the Question (He would not rest until he had the answers he needed to save the planet).
2) Princess Diana AKA Wonder Woman (She is already the ambassador to Man's World, why not be earth's ambassador to the universe).
3) Arthur Curry AKA Aquaman (Since two thirds of the earth is covered in water, why not have the King of the Seven Seas represent the earth?)
4) Adam Strange (He already is a man of two worlds, lets give him more responsibility for his birth world).
5) Hal Jorden AKA Green Lantern (Hey, he already has the job).
Super-Dave:
2. Make a list of heros that you would like to be trapped on the island from ABC's Lost. The catch is they are stripped of their powers (Superman just becomes plan Clark Kent, Tony Stark doesn't have any armor). This list can
overlap if you would like. Also no Tarzan or Conan, it just wouldn't be fair.
Later,
Super-Dave
Johnny D:
C) (De-Powered) Heros to have with me on the Lost island...
1) Reed Richares (Nuff said).
2) T'Challa the Black Panther (He's good in the Jungle and between he and Reed we could build just about anything).
3) Shanna the She Devil (Partly because she is good in the Jungle, but mostly because she's a hot red head).
4) James Howlett (Logan) AKA Wolverine (He's the ultimate survivor).
5) Oliver Queen AKA the Green Arrow (He has experience surviving on a mysterious island).
6) Cliff Steele (I just think he would appreciate getting his body back. Also, he's always struck me as the kind of man of action that you would want in your corner in a crisis).
7) Karen Star AKA Power Woman (More eye candy!)
What about your lists, Super-Dave?
Super-Dave:
Champion of Earth List
DC
1. Superman- so maybe I’m on a Superman wave but Earth’s adopted son hasn’t let us down yet.
2. Green Lantern (Hal Jordan)- Your right, it’s his job but even if it wasn’t he would be the first one in line to take on what ever threat there was.
3. Martian Manhunter- Witness to the death of two worlds, I don’t think he would stand idly by while we were in danger.
4. Wonder Woman- Very underrated, daughter of the Greek Gods, Den mother to the Earth. Of course she would step up, hooker boots and all.
5. Swamp Thing- the only non-JLA member on my list. He has basically become God of he Earth. Who better to guard us from harm?
Marvel
1. Captain America- Tops my list to. He is not just representing the American government but the very ideals that founded our country. He would do what is right not just follow the party line (God we need him now more
than ever).
2. Thor- Years of living among us as a humble MD and his service with the Avengers has shown that the Son of Odin would be willing to face any foe to protect Midguard.
3. Spider-man- Best well rounded character in the Marvel universe. I’m not partially happy with what they are doing with him right now but no one is pushed harder by responsibility then him.
4. Dr. Strange- He is kind of like the mystical Green Lantern of Marvel but he is all by his lonesome. I would think he would have a lonely life with only Wong as his company. Hopefully someone will step up and write him well
soon.
5. Wolverine- If were talking about a “two men enter, one man leave” sort of fight who else is there to pick?
Lost
1. Oliver Queen- Isn’t that how he started out? Marooned on an island. We should probably ban him from the list but he is just so fun!
2. Frank Castle- Sure he would be lousy company but with him on your side who would be afraid of the Others?
3. Ben Grim- Kind of like your Max Steel, I think he would like to be human again and no one would be more loyal.
4. Kitty Pryde- Who wouldn’t want to be marooned on a island with her.
5. Bruce Banner- Brainy scientist and you don’t have to worry about his green friend
And a bonus list….
Modern Day League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
1. Harry Potter- Just saw the new film and thought he might fit in
2. Indiana Jones- He would be over a hundred today
3. Nancy Drew- Pulp fiction mystery novel protagonist
4. Michael Knight- from Knight rider
5. Dana Sculley- X-files
Your lists are good but I think Sheena close to the edge but we'll let it
pass.
Johnny D wrote:
S-D,
Awesome lists, my friend! I wish I had thought of Swamp Thing. He is the earth. I also thought the new Harry Potter book was great. Here is my modern day League of Extraordinary Gentlemen using both television and books...
1) The Hal 9000 Computer (from 2001: A Space Odyssey)
2) Steve Austin (from the Six Million Dollar Man and the book Cyborg)
3) Carl Kolchak (from the 1974-75 show Kolchak: the Night Stalker, not the crappy modern one with Stuart Townsend)
4) Zane (the incarnation of Death from On A Pale Horse by Piers Anthony)
5) Buffy Summers (from Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
How about a list of the 10 comic book characters who you would least like to have over for dinner? They can be from any comic company...
JD
Now, my friend, GrimJeff gets into the fun...
GrimJeff writes:
Alright, here are two new lists for us to come up with....
(1. Make a list of 5 or 10 heros to serve as Earth's champion. No world overlaping (Marvel and DC have their own lists) and they have to live on
Earth.)
DC Universe
1) Superman--an obvious choice. The criteria specified that the character had to live on Earth, which Superman does.
2) Aquaman--for the same reasons John pointed out (Three quarters of the Earth and all that rot).
3) Doctor Fate--For any of those nasty mystical menaces...
4) Wonder Woman--She's tough, and would represent female interests.
5) Captain Marvel--Powerful and with mystical powers to boot. He's also guided by the wisdom of Solomon.
6) Batman--He'd protect the Earth come hell or high water.
7) Martain Manhunter--He's a power house, and he knows the preciousness of life, having lost his own world. Again, he's not a native, but he lives on Earth.
8) Green Lantern--He's got the intersteller contacts to help with alien invasions and stuff.
Marvel Universe:
1) Doctor Strange--Real good for those mystic invasions...
2) Captain America--He'd die before he let Earth be sacrificed.
3) Thor--powerful and dedicated...
4) Reed Richards--The brains of the outfit.
5) Charles Xavier--Mental giant.
(As far as this: Make a list of heros that you would like to be trapped on the island from
ABC's Lost. The catch is they are stripped of their powers (Superman just becomes plan Clark Kent, Tony Stark doesn't have any armor). This list can overlap if you would like. Also no Tarzan or Conan, it just wouldn't be fair.)
1) Tony Stark--A survivor and an inventor.
2) Bruce Wayne--Another survivor.
3) Princess Diana--Eye candy.
4) Karen Starr--More eye candy.
5) Shanna the She-Devil--Yet more eye candy...
6) Oliver Queen--because he's old hat at this stuff...
OH! And did I mention that in this universe that Tony, Bruce, and Ollie are all gay?
Enjoy!
Jeff
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