Monday, March 16, 2009

Haiku Reviews

So I came up with a wacky idea today... What if I were to write reviews of recent films I've seen utilizing the poetic structure known as "haiku?" That's right, full movie reviews in three lines. Five syllables, seven syllables, and then five syllables. Sure, these won't be as comprehensive as the movie reviews I used to write for Entertainment In Review, but they will be concise.

Here we go...

PUNISHER: WAR ZONE

Frank is dead inside
Jigsaw a caricature
Tom Jane was better

(**)

SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE

Did the urchin cheat?
Time and Fate may hold the key
or "it is written"

(*****)

DOUBT

Is the priest a perv?
Meryl Streep seems to think so
Catholic School can suck

(****)

HULK VS...

Thor battles the Hulk
The Hulk clobbers Wolverine
Both fights deliver

(****)

CORALINE

Strange little girl lost
Parallel life seems better
Animated goth

(***1/2)

THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON

Oscar loved this flick
Brad Pitt ages in reverse
It wasn't all that

(***)

UNDERWORLD: RISE OF THE LYCANS

Origin of the war
Between vampires and wolves
Very cool prequel

(***)

GRAN TORINO

Eastwood is a grump
Thrown together with a teen 
Bigotry loses

(***1/2)

TAKEN

Spook father gets mad
Bad guys snatch his girl in France
Justice swift and cold

(**1/2)

FRIDAY THE 13th (2009)

Familiar horror
Camp Crystal Lake vomits blood
Jason's blade must drink

(***)

STREET FIGHTER: THE LEGEND OF CHUN-LI

Kristin Kreuk is hot
The rest of the film is not
Video game pics rot

(*1/2)

WATCHMEN

A geeks dream come true
Snyder's adaptation rocks
Resplendent violence

(*****)

RACE TO WITCH MOUNTAIN

The Rock drives a hack
Alien kids are his fair
Adventure ensues

(**1/2)




 Copyright 2009 John Michael Decker. No reprints without written permission.


Wednesday, January 07, 2009

John Michael Decker's Top Ten Films of 2008

It's time, once again, for my extremely biased list of favorite films of the past year. I must confess that this year I didn't see nearly as many movies as I have in the past, so if you think that I snubbed your favorite independent film, chances are that I just didn't see it. Please don't yell at me for excluding films like The Orphanage, The Wrestler, and Slumdog Millionaire from my list. I've heard that they are all excellent, I just didn't get the opportunity to see them. I'll try to catch them on DVD in 2009. With that disclaimer out of the way, here is the list of my ten favorite films of 2008, arranged in descending order.

#10: Cloverfield

Think The Blair Witch Project meets Godzilla and you'll have a pretty good idea of what the filmmakers were going for here. A lot of people hated this movie about shallow 20-somethings trapped in New York City as a giant monster attacks, but I loved this original take on the "big city stomping creature" genre. One warning however, if you get motion sickness easily, avoid this movie like the plague. The handheld camera style could make you sick.

#9: Quantum of Solace

I'll say it right from the start: Quantum of Solace was not nearly as good as Casino Royale, the film that preceded it. Still, I love Daniel Craig's take on Ian Fleming's super spy, James Bond. The grittier, less tongue-in-cheek 007 in the Craig films is a breath of fresh air. Taken on its own merits, this was an excellent action flick.

#8: Tropic Thunder

This hilarious comedy, written and directed by Ben Stiller, is a great sendup of Hollywood stereotypes. In the film, several diva actors trying to make an Apocalypse Now-type war movie unwittingly end up in a real combat zone and are forced to fight for survival. The three leads -- Ben Stiller, Robert Downey Jr., and Jack Black -- give excellent performances, but the real surprise are the cameos by Tom Cruise and Matthew McConaughey, who both steal every scene they are in.

#7: Forgetting Sarah Marshall

This is another great comedy produced by Judd Apatow, who really has a talent for funny. In this film, Peter, a devastated television music composer, travels to Hawaii to get over the tremendous dumping he received at the hands of his former girlfriend, Sarah. Unfortunately, Sarah is staying at the very hotel that Peter has booked with her new rock star boyfriend. Hilarity ensues. This film is a cathartic experience for anyone who has been through a bad breakup... and lets face it -- who hasn't.

#6: Hellboy II: the Golden Army

While this is not as good as the original Hellboy, it is nonetheless a very fun comic book film with compelling characters and excellent visuals. Director Guillermo del Toro is an amazing storyteller. and I can't wait to see what he does with the Hobbit movie. The fun part about the Hellboy films is that even though the main characters are freaks, there is something very human and sympathetic about all of them.

#5: The Incredible Hulk

This was so much better than the 2003 Ang Lee-directed Hulk, which was ponderous and over-intellectual. When it comes right down to it, the Hulk has always been a character that is more about smashing than talking. The Incredible Hulk combines the best elements of the comic books and the television show to create an action-packed adventure with Edward Norton playing an intense Bruce Banner, and William Hurt portraying General Thaddeus "Thunderbolt" Ross, his arch-nemesis. Yes, the story is intelligent, but they don't skimp on the action.

#4: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

I know that a lot of people took issue with the fourth installment of the Indiana Jones franchise, but I really enjoyed it. Raiders of the Lost Ark is one of my all time favorite films, and was a thrill to see Harrison Ford put on the fedora and whip again to portray one of the most enduring screen characters of all time. I liked that they allowed Indy to age in this film. I liked how it was soaked with 1950s nostalgia. I liked the supporting performances, especially Cate Blanchett as Irina Spalko, the main villain; and John Hurt as Harold "Ox" Oxley, the professor driven mad by the crystal skull artifact. It was also a hoot to see Karen Allen reprise her role as Marion Ravenwood, the best of Indiana Jones' girlfriends.

#3: Wall-E

After the disappointing Cars, I thought that Pixar Animation Studios was losing its touch, but last summer's Ratatouille was very strong, and Wall-E puts the studio back in top form. Even though the star of this film is a trash-compacting robot, the film is really about the human need for connection. It also serves as a cautionary tale about the direction the human race is heading.

#2: Iron Man

Superhero films have become a legitimate genre over the past several years. There are good superhero movies and bad superhero movies, but Iron Man, directed by Jon Favreau and starring Robert Downey Jr., is a great superhero film. Downey was born to play Tony Stark, the boozing, womanizing playboy who gets a dose of reality when he learns that the weapons he has been building for the US military are being used by terrorists, whereupon he decides to set things right as the high-flying Iron Man. There is great ensemble work in this film, particularly from Gwyneth Paltrow, who gives one of her best performances as Pepper Potts; Tony Stark's girl Friday; and Jeff Bridges as Obadiah Stane, Stark's business partner who may not be as friendly to our hero as he first appears.

And now, my favorite movie of 2007...

#1: The Dark Knight

A wise person once said that the greatness of a hero is judged by the worthiness of his opponents. If this is true, then Christian Bale's Batman has become one of the greatest heroes of all, based on his foe in The Dark Knight, the late Heath Ledger's Joker. I mentioned above that I thought that Iron Man was an excellent superhero film; The Dark Knight transcends the superhero genre. It is simply a great film. A new classic for the ages. Heath Ledger's portrayal of the Joker is nothing short of brilliant, and like Jack Nicholson in Tim Burton's Batman back in 1989, Ledger steals every scene he is in. But Heath Ledger doesn't just play an out-of-control loony like Nicholson did -- his Joker is much more complex. I would say that the Joker of The Dark Knight isn't so much insane as he is a brilliant nihilist dedicated to chaos; a perfect counterpoint to the order-loving Batman. And I would be remiss if I didn't mention the performance of Aaron Eckhart, who plays the tragic Harvey Dent, a character who starts out the film being like Batman and ends the film more as a disciple of the Joker. Of all the characters in the movie, Eckhart's Dent makes the most interesting journey.

Summary

And there you have it -- my top picks for the year that was. Feel free to get in touch and argue with me or tell me about a great film I may have left off the list. And remember, each person views a movie through the lens of their own experience and personal taste. Just because I love something doesn't mean that you have to feel the same. This year I'd like to give a special thanks to Jem Matzan for his friendship and fine editorial input over the past three years.

John Michael Decker is a struggling actor and self-avowed comic book geek. This is his tenth top ten films list. In 2009, John wants to remind everyone to work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt, and dance like nobody's watching.

Copyright 2009 John Michael Decker. No reprints without written permission.