It's a lot easier to make a "worst film" list than it is to make a "best film" list. So I have limited my list to movies that were not only bad, but that disappointed me deeply at some level. Films I expected better of (because of the directors or the actors or the concept), but which let me down. And so, without further ado, here is my list of the worst, most disappointing films I have ever seen...
WORST MOVIES EVER MADE
*
1) The Passion of the Christ (2004): In making this film, Mel Gibson's assertion seems to be that we are all responsible for the death of Christ, so we should all be punished by watching a nice guy horribly tortured for nearly three hours. Excellent production values can't save this, ugly, vile film which is filled with lurid violence and raciest undertones. For a far superior movie about the life of Jesus Christ, I would recommend Martin Scorsese's controversial 1988 masterpiece, The Last Temptation of the Christ.
2) Batman & Robin (1997): This psychedelic dry-heave of a film brought to us by schlock director Joel Schumacher nearly killed the Bat-franchise and ended comic book movies forever. It also marked a steady decline in the quality of films starring action guru, Arnold Schwarzenegger. Loud, over-packed, over-acted and campy, this movie is devoid of any redeeming value and a slap in the face to fans of the Batman comic books.
3) Highlander II: The Quickening (1991): I loved the original Highlander which came out in 1986, so when I heard that actors Christopher Lambert and Sean Connery were teaming up with director Russell Mulcahy for a sequel, I was excited. When I got to the theater what I got was a convoluted mess that didn't even respect it's own established continuity. But you know what they say... "There can be only one... Good Highlander film."
4) Star Trek V: The Final Frontier/Star Trek: Nemesis (1989, 2002): These are, by far, the two most disappointing movies in the Star Trek canon. They both consisted of ridiculous plots, embarrassing character portrayals and juvenile humor that is, more often than not, at the expense of the characters the fans had grown to know and love.
5) Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999): Apparently George Lucas lost his copy of "Hero With 1,000 Faces" when he made this lackluster prequel to his original Star Wars trilogy. The archetypal character's of the first three films were replaced by boring, two-dimensional, stereotypes; the most insulting of which was the computer generated side-kick, Jar Jar Binks. This savagely annoying character wasted every frame of film he was in (nearly 88 minutes of the movie). On the plus side, this move does have some amazing lightsaber duels and boasts impressive special effects. It's just too bad they are wasted in such a loss of a film.
6) Cursed (2005): I enjoyed the Scream trilogy, and I love werewolves, so when I heard that Scream director Wes Craven and writer Kevin Williamson were re-teaming to make a werewolf flick, I thought that it would be a fun ride. Instead this was a stupid, insipid, waste of a movie with plot holes you could drive a truck through. The acting is bad. The special effects are bad. The writing is really bad. On a side note, two days after I saw Cursed, I got into a serious car accident and broke my arm. So, for me, this movie really was "cursed."
7) Dungeons & Dragons: The Movie (2000): I have played Dungeons & Dragons and I generally enjoy movies in the sword and sorcery genre, so I thought this film might be fun. By the end of the movie, I was left scratching my head and saying, "what the hell just happened?" What had happened was that I had lost about an hour and a half of my life I'll never get back.
8) Showgirls (1995): Who would have thought that a movie with this much gratuitous nudity could be so horrible? 'Nuff said.
9) Planet of the Apes (2001): Normally reliable director, Tim Burton missteps here with this awful re-make of the 1968 classic. Although the special effects are excellent and the acting is decent enough the plot just spirals into incomprehensible nonsense. What seems to have been lost on Burton was that the original Planet of the Apes was a brilliant social satire, not just an exploration of the weird for the sake of being weird.
10) Jersey Girl (2004): I am a huge fan of Kevin Smith and four of his original five films, so I was extremely disappointed to see him make this sappy pile of drivel with an ending that was apparent almost before the movie started running. Where are Jay and Silent Bob when you need them?
2) Batman & Robin (1997): This psychedelic dry-heave of a film brought to us by schlock director Joel Schumacher nearly killed the Bat-franchise and ended comic book movies forever. It also marked a steady decline in the quality of films starring action guru, Arnold Schwarzenegger. Loud, over-packed, over-acted and campy, this movie is devoid of any redeeming value and a slap in the face to fans of the Batman comic books.
3) Highlander II: The Quickening (1991): I loved the original Highlander which came out in 1986, so when I heard that actors Christopher Lambert and Sean Connery were teaming up with director Russell Mulcahy for a sequel, I was excited. When I got to the theater what I got was a convoluted mess that didn't even respect it's own established continuity. But you know what they say... "There can be only one... Good Highlander film."
4) Star Trek V: The Final Frontier/Star Trek: Nemesis (1989, 2002): These are, by far, the two most disappointing movies in the Star Trek canon. They both consisted of ridiculous plots, embarrassing character portrayals and juvenile humor that is, more often than not, at the expense of the characters the fans had grown to know and love.
5) Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999): Apparently George Lucas lost his copy of "Hero With 1,000 Faces" when he made this lackluster prequel to his original Star Wars trilogy. The archetypal character's of the first three films were replaced by boring, two-dimensional, stereotypes; the most insulting of which was the computer generated side-kick, Jar Jar Binks. This savagely annoying character wasted every frame of film he was in (nearly 88 minutes of the movie). On the plus side, this move does have some amazing lightsaber duels and boasts impressive special effects. It's just too bad they are wasted in such a loss of a film.
6) Cursed (2005): I enjoyed the Scream trilogy, and I love werewolves, so when I heard that Scream director Wes Craven and writer Kevin Williamson were re-teaming to make a werewolf flick, I thought that it would be a fun ride. Instead this was a stupid, insipid, waste of a movie with plot holes you could drive a truck through. The acting is bad. The special effects are bad. The writing is really bad. On a side note, two days after I saw Cursed, I got into a serious car accident and broke my arm. So, for me, this movie really was "cursed."
7) Dungeons & Dragons: The Movie (2000): I have played Dungeons & Dragons and I generally enjoy movies in the sword and sorcery genre, so I thought this film might be fun. By the end of the movie, I was left scratching my head and saying, "what the hell just happened?" What had happened was that I had lost about an hour and a half of my life I'll never get back.
8) Showgirls (1995): Who would have thought that a movie with this much gratuitous nudity could be so horrible? 'Nuff said.
9) Planet of the Apes (2001): Normally reliable director, Tim Burton missteps here with this awful re-make of the 1968 classic. Although the special effects are excellent and the acting is decent enough the plot just spirals into incomprehensible nonsense. What seems to have been lost on Burton was that the original Planet of the Apes was a brilliant social satire, not just an exploration of the weird for the sake of being weird.
10) Jersey Girl (2004): I am a huge fan of Kevin Smith and four of his original five films, so I was extremely disappointed to see him make this sappy pile of drivel with an ending that was apparent almost before the movie started running. Where are Jay and Silent Bob when you need them?
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