Monday, March 16, 2009

Haiku Reviews

So I came up with a wacky idea today... What if I were to write reviews of recent films I've seen utilizing the poetic structure known as "haiku?" That's right, full movie reviews in three lines. Five syllables, seven syllables, and then five syllables. Sure, these won't be as comprehensive as the movie reviews I used to write for Entertainment In Review, but they will be concise.

Here we go...

PUNISHER: WAR ZONE

Frank is dead inside
Jigsaw a caricature
Tom Jane was better

(**)

SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE

Did the urchin cheat?
Time and Fate may hold the key
or "it is written"

(*****)

DOUBT

Is the priest a perv?
Meryl Streep seems to think so
Catholic School can suck

(****)

HULK VS...

Thor battles the Hulk
The Hulk clobbers Wolverine
Both fights deliver

(****)

CORALINE

Strange little girl lost
Parallel life seems better
Animated goth

(***1/2)

THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON

Oscar loved this flick
Brad Pitt ages in reverse
It wasn't all that

(***)

UNDERWORLD: RISE OF THE LYCANS

Origin of the war
Between vampires and wolves
Very cool prequel

(***)

GRAN TORINO

Eastwood is a grump
Thrown together with a teen 
Bigotry loses

(***1/2)

TAKEN

Spook father gets mad
Bad guys snatch his girl in France
Justice swift and cold

(**1/2)

FRIDAY THE 13th (2009)

Familiar horror
Camp Crystal Lake vomits blood
Jason's blade must drink

(***)

STREET FIGHTER: THE LEGEND OF CHUN-LI

Kristin Kreuk is hot
The rest of the film is not
Video game pics rot

(*1/2)

WATCHMEN

A geeks dream come true
Snyder's adaptation rocks
Resplendent violence

(*****)

RACE TO WITCH MOUNTAIN

The Rock drives a hack
Alien kids are his fair
Adventure ensues

(**1/2)




 Copyright 2009 John Michael Decker. No reprints without written permission.


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