And now, for your enjoyment and edification, here are three more original Thaddeus Pringle poems, recently discovered stuck to the bottom of a chamber pot in Brussels during an archeological dig...
***
Ode to New Breeches
By
Thaddeus Pringle: Lucky Bastard
~
Whilst examining my ale through a great glass prism
I chanced to spy an organism
~
Green, undulating, and full of malice
I drank it down from my pewter chalice
~
It was soon apparent this was a mistake
As my poor belly commenced to ache
~
I ran to the privy--there was no time
My pantaloons were filling with grime
~
I knew that drinking that ale was a big chance
But it resulted in these fine new pants
___________________________
Ode to My Left Thumb
By
Thaddeus Pringle: Word Smith
~
One day my thumb went missing
I know not where it went
I did miss my little thumb
For it was haeven sent
~
And then my thumb; it re-appeared
I know not the reason why
My digits were again attached
I let out a happy sigh
~
O' where wert thou o' naughty thumb?
I should give thee a spanky--
And why oh why o' naughty thumb
Art thou all dark and stanky?
_____________________
Ode to my Superflous Nipple
By
Thaddeus Pringle: All Man (Woof)
~
Most gentles be cursed, this be true
Count their nipples, they have but two
Now I be blessed, as thou shalt see
Count my nipples, I have three
~
Three little nipples I possess
A right one, a left one, and Celeste
(that be my third nipple's name--Celeste... it was my gammer's name)
It be small, it be itchy, it be in a strange place
When it is touched I tingle from foot to face
~
Some say it be the mark of the devil
But they be wrong on many a level
A third nipple be a mark of grace
I push it down, it pops back into place
__________________________
***
By
Thaddeus Pringle: Lucky Bastard
~
Whilst examining my ale through a great glass prism
I chanced to spy an organism
~
Green, undulating, and full of malice
I drank it down from my pewter chalice
~
It was soon apparent this was a mistake
As my poor belly commenced to ache
~
I ran to the privy--there was no time
My pantaloons were filling with grime
~
I knew that drinking that ale was a big chance
But it resulted in these fine new pants
___________________________
Ode to My Left Thumb
By
Thaddeus Pringle: Word Smith
~
One day my thumb went missing
I know not where it went
I did miss my little thumb
For it was haeven sent
~
And then my thumb; it re-appeared
I know not the reason why
My digits were again attached
I let out a happy sigh
~
O' where wert thou o' naughty thumb?
I should give thee a spanky--
And why oh why o' naughty thumb
Art thou all dark and stanky?
_____________________
Ode to my Superflous Nipple
By
Thaddeus Pringle: All Man (Woof)
~
Most gentles be cursed, this be true
Count their nipples, they have but two
Now I be blessed, as thou shalt see
Count my nipples, I have three
~
Three little nipples I possess
A right one, a left one, and Celeste
(that be my third nipple's name--Celeste... it was my gammer's name)
It be small, it be itchy, it be in a strange place
When it is touched I tingle from foot to face
~
Some say it be the mark of the devil
But they be wrong on many a level
A third nipple be a mark of grace
I push it down, it pops back into place
__________________________
***
These poems are copyrighted by John Michael Decker (AKA Thaddeus Pringle). Any publication or sale of this work without the authors express written permission is forbidden.
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"And I'd have gotten away with it too if it wasn't for those meddling kids!"
John Michael Decker
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"And I'd have gotten away with it too if it wasn't for those meddling kids!"
John Michael Decker
2 comments:
And now, for your enjoyment, here is another lost Thaddeus Pringle masterpiece...
~
Ode to the Lads from Oxford
(Oh, Lord--How I Hate Them)
By
Thaddeus Pringle: Dead Butch
~
When I think back on my University chums
I ponder how I ever suffered those filthy scums
I loathe those lads from school; the entire lot
They used to dip my head in the chamber pot
~
Tis inconceivable how they could have thought me a sissy
When they would pull my hair, I would get all hot & prissy
As I slumbered my hands were dipped in warm water
Then I would wet my bed like an incontinent daughter
~
But soon revenge I shall plot
Then in the bowels of hell they will all rot
I shall track them down and make them listen
To all the verse which I have ere written
~
You see, then they will see what a genius I be and they shall slay themselves in a fit of jealousy... Delicious!
You want more? Here is another. Oh, Thaddeus, you rascal...
~
Ode to Rain~Foul, Foul, Rain
By
Thaddeus Pringle: Better than Shakespeare
~
Oh English sun, thou dirty tramp
Why dost thou curse us with this damp?
This downpour be an abomination in my sight
Pray-Let it halt lest there be a fight
~
Rain be cold, damp, wet & sticky
In point of fact, tis naught but icky
I long to be enveloped in a dry bubble
This rain must cease else there be trouble
~
Now I be not a violent lad
But if rain were human I would beat it bad
Those pounding drops give me an itch
For rain be a colossal...
~
Well, rain should be ashamed of itself... Damn it's watery eyes!
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