To Survey a Super-Villain

Have you ever gotten one of those annoying survey's in your e-mail box? You know the ones I'm talking about. They ask you such probing questions as, "what is on your mouse pad?" or "do you prefer croutons or bacon bits on your salad?" Deep stuff. Recently, I thought that it would be funny to send one of those surveys to a Republic Serial Villain. The fiend who I chose for this social experiment was none other than Blotar the Unpredictable, the Space Tyrant who matched wits with Lance Proton every week on the radio drama, "Lance Proton and the Space Battalion of Justice." Let's see what happened...

If you choose to contribute to the stream of pointless email that saps the productivity of this once-great nation: Copy (not forward) this entire e-mail and paste it onto a new e-mail that you will send. Change all of the answers so that they apply to you. Then, send this to a whole bunch of people you know, INCLUDING the person who sent it to you. The theory is that you will learn a lot of little known facts about your friends. Remember to send yours back to the person who sent it to you.

NAME: Blotar The Unpredictable!

SEX: Blotar is all man, Baby!

LIVING ARRANGEMENT: Blotar resides in an impenetrable secret fortress, where he plots the take over of the world. BWA-HA-HA!!!

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT OUIJA BOARDS?: Blotar sees them as a tool he can use to TAKE OVER THE PLANET! BWA-HA-HA!!!

YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW?: Blotar enjoys the wacky antics of "B.J. and the Bear"

WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?: A picture of the earth... Which Blotar will one day rule!

FAVORITE BOARD GAME: Stratego: the game of global domination.

FAVORITE SMELLS: The fear of my enemies, blood on the battlefield, raspberry shampoo.

WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD: Not ruling the world.

BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD: Blotar enjoys crushing his enemies, seeing them driven before him, and hearing the lamentation of the women... No wait. That's Conan. So, a bubble bath.

FAVORITE SOUNDTRACK: "The Little Mermaid"

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE IN THE MORNING?: "Today, Blotar will take over the world! After he craps."

DO YOU GET MOTION SICKNESS?: Bah! Motion sickness is for the weak!

ROLLER COASTERS-SCARY OR EXCITING?: Blotar fears NOTHING! But Roller Coasters do make him yak.

PEN OR PENCIL?: Pen.... Dipped in the blood of Blotar's enemies! BWA-HA-HA!!!

HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE?: Blotar communicates via a tiny transmitter implanted at the base of his skull.

FUTURE SON'S NAME: Young Blotar; Second to bear the name! Prince of the cosmos!

FUTURE DAUGHTER'S NAME: Bah! Blotar possesses no X chromosomes!

FAVORITE FOODS: Blotar feasts on the cooked hearts of his foes! That and a lot of cheese. Blotar enjoys cheese.

DO YOU GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS: Blotar is the result of a laboratory experiment gone eyrie, and thus has no parents in the conventional sense. However, Blotar did drop his creator down an elevator shaft.

CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA?: Bah! Chocolate is for girl scouts and weak willed fools! Blotar scoffs at Chocolate! Scoffs, do you hear?

FAVORITE ICE CREAM: Pickle and Yak Fur. Yum.

CROUTONS OR BACON BITS: Croutons. What? Must all of Blotar's responses amuse you? Bah!

DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE?: Blotar failed his permit test. So he stuffed his instructor into a wood chipper.

DO YOU SLEEP WITH STUFFED ANIMALS?: Blotar possesses a stuffed sheep named Mr. Frufru. Mr. Frufru is Blotar's friend.

STORMS - COOL OR SCARY: Blotar is the eye of the storm!

WHAT TYPE WAS YOUR FIRST CAR: See the answer to the "DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE" question.

IF YOU COULD MEET ONE PERSON, DEAD OR ALIVE,WHO WOULD IT BE? Vlad the Impaler or Dr. Doom.

FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK: Bah! Blotar never lets his guard down! NEVER!!!

WHAT IS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN?: Triple Scorpio. BWA-HA-HA!!!

WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE POET?: That creative fellow who always scrapes limericks on the men's room wall.

DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI?: Bah! Broccoli is a disgusting abomination!

IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED,WHAT WOULD IT BE: Lord High Emperor of the Universe.

IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR, WHAT WOULD IT BE?: Plaid.

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE?: Blotar had a pet Yak. His name was Mr. Phlegm. Mr. Phlegm betrayed Blotar and had to be delt with. Blotar will never love again. Except for Mr. Frufru who is Blotar's only friend. WHY MR. PHLEGM? WHY!?!

WHAT IS ON YOUR WALLS IN YOUR ROOM?: Television monitors showing Blotar the inside of top secret government faculties.

IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL?: Half full. Of the blood of Blotar's enemies! BWA-HA-HA!!!

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BOOK(S)?: "Beyond Good and Evil," "the Prince"

FAVORITE MOVIE(S)?: "Weekend at Bernies"

DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS: Blotar types with his eyes.

IF YOU COULD BE ONE GARDENING TOOL, WHAT WOULD YOU BE?: The Sun.

WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED?: Some things man was not meant to know.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER?: 666

WHAT IS YOUR DREAM CAR?: BLOTAR DOESN'T HAVE A LICENCE! MUST YOU RUB IT IN?

FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH: "When Animal's Attack!"

SAY ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON(S) WHO SENT THIS TO YOU: Bah! Decker will knell before me! All will knell before Blotar!

PERSON YOU SENT THIS TO WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND: All must respond to Blotar. Respond or DIE! BWA-HA-HA!!!
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