Haiku Reviews

So I came up with a wacky idea today... What if I were to write reviews of recent films I've seen utilizing the poetic structure known as "haiku?" That's right, full movie reviews in three lines. Five syllables, seven syllables, and then five syllables. Sure, these won't be as comprehensive as the movie reviews I used to write for Entertainment In Review, but they will be concise.

Here we go...

PUNISHER: WAR ZONE

Frank is dead inside

Jigsaw a caricature

Tom Jane was better

(**)

SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE

Did the urchin cheat?

Time and Fate may hold the key

or "it is written"

(*****)

DOUBT

Is the priest a perv?

Meryl Streep seems to think so

Catholic School can suck

(****)

HULK VS...

Thor battles the Hulk

The Hulk clobbers Wolverine

Both fights deliver

(****)

CORALINE

Strange little girl lost

Parallel life seems better

Animated goth

(***1/2)

THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON

Oscar loved this flick

Brad Pitt ages in reverse

It wasn't all that

(***)

UNDERWORLD: RISE OF THE LYCANS

Origin of the war

Between vampires and wolves

Very cool prequel

(***)

GRAN TORINO

Eastwood is a grump

Thrown together with a teen 

Bigotry loses

(***1/2)

TAKEN

Spook father gets mad

Bad guys snatch his girl in France

Justice swift and cold

(**1/2)

FRIDAY THE 13th (2009)

Familiar horror

Camp Crystal Lake vomits blood

Jason's blade must drink

(***)

STREET FIGHTER: THE LEGEND OF CHUN-LI

Kristin Kreuk is hot

The rest of the film is not

Video game pics rot

(*1/2)

WATCHMEN

A geeks dream come true

Snyder's adaptation rocks

Resplendent violence

(*****)

RACE TO WITCH MOUNTAIN

The Rock drives a hack

Alien kids are his fair

Adventure ensues

(**1/2)

 Copyright 2009 John Michael Decker. No reprints without written permission.