Pringle's Poetry Place

For eleven season's (1994 - 2004) I have worked as an interactive actor at the Sterling Renaissance Festival. While there, I had the opportunity to portray several interesting characters, including a thief, an executioner, a pirate and a mud beggar. By far, my favorite character was Thaddeus Pringle, traveling poet (which I played at the Sterling Ren Fest in 1995, 1996 and 2001).

Thaddeus was conceived to be the anti-Shakespeare. A poet so terrible and deviant that he was destined to be forgotten in the annals of history. I wrote a number of poems which were designed to be both wretched and entertaining at the some time. I would read them with this loud, nasally character voice as if they were the greatest epics ever scribbled on parchment.

For some reason, my poems became incredibility popular on the Ren Fest circuit, and I am always meeting people who want copies of my verse (such as it is). So here now, are a few of the works of Thaddeus Pringle... Enjoy... Let me know if you want more?

Ode to Blood Seeping into the Battlefield Afore it Coagulates

By Thaddeus "Please God, Not the Face" Pringle

~

Be thou barbarian, assassin, or just plain mean

The battlefield be the place to vent thy spleen

Smite thy foe with a heavy glave

Pull his hair and call him knave

~

Beat thy opponent about the shoulders and neck

Unplug his bowels and commence to wreck

Channel thy rage on the soon to be dead

And buckets of blood will pour out of his head

~

Now tis not my intention to condone violence

But when thy foes are dead thou canst enjoy the silence

I pray this verse fills thee with glee

Now for the love of God just don't hurt me!!!_____________________________________________________

The Frightsome Tale of Lord Entropy & the Anvil

by Thaddeus Pringle: Agent of Chaos!!!

~

Just beyond Valhala; slightly left from Hell

Be the lair of High Lord Entropy; whom thou wouldst to know do well

Chaos be his right fist & Ragnarok his left

He lifts his mightly hammer and brings it down with heft

~

Lord Entropy be a weapons smith; of this there is no doubt

And all who face his deadly tools; can do naught but shout

But one eve as he was labouring in darksome smoke & soot

His anvil slipped it's moorings and landed on his foot

~

Now Entropy is mighty; his tolerance is grand

But now his foot was liquefied; his bones were turned to sand

He swallowed up his courage; he spat his weakness out

He vowed to be quite stoic; Then he let out a shout

~

Mayhaps "shout" be too tame a word to describe this sound

All who heard; their ears did bleed; they tumbled to the ground

When Lord Es throat was raw from that awful din

He looked upon his pulverized foot; he gently scratched his chin

~

He said, "Nothing lasts forever lad-I had a foot its true."

"But now the end of my great leg is naught but sticky groo."

Lord E was espied the next dawn; his foot now an iron mace

And if he does chance to kick thy bum; thou wilt be put in thy place...

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The Sadsome Tale of Anna & the Cow
by Thaddeus Pringle: Extraordinary Gentleman

~

Anna was a farm girl

Her cheeks were pink and bright

Rebecca was a heifer

And to the world she was a blight

~

Anna wondered to the barn

To milk the cow one dark & stormy day

And there Rebecca attacked

That cow wanted her to pay

~

The hoofs they were a' flying

And the udders swinging around

Anna was completely gored

And she fell right to the ground

~

Rebecca stomped on Anna's spleen

She sprayed milk right in her eye

Anna tried hard to escape

But all she could do was cry

~

All seemed lost on that dark & distant day

Anna was about to die

When a freak lightning bolt struck Rebecca

From a dark and lonely sky

~

That night Anna dined on a black & smoking feast

It was charred beef on a stick from the awful slain beast

But when the wind is blowing and Anna's feeling blue

She can still hear dead Rebecca saying, "Moo Moo Moo!"

_____________________________________________________

Ode To Monkeys
By Thaddeus Pringle: Poet, Scholar, Genius

~

Monkeys, Monkeys~ Everywhere

Monkeys, Monkeys~ In My Hair

~

Monkeys, Monkeys~ Up a Tree

Monkeys Fill Me With Such Glee

~

Monkeys, Monkeys, Monkeys, Monkeys,

Monkeys, Monkeys, MONKEYS!!!!

~

Oh Lord, How I Love Those Harry, Banana-Eating, Little Bastards!

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These poems are copyrighted by John Michael Decker (AKA Thaddeus Pringle). Any publication or sale of this work without the authors express written permission is forbidden.

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"And I'd have gotten away with it too if it wasn't for those meddling kids!"

John Michael Decker