Saturday, February 12, 2005

My Review of Spider-Man~4 May 2002


I have to say in all honesty that I didn't like the Spider-Man movie...

I LOVED IT!!!! I thought that it was the BEST comic book to film translation yet. Superman is a great film, but it veers into camp in places. Batman is awesome, but to me the story always fell apart in the last 15 minutes (and lets face it, the film was really all about the Joker). The X-Man was the best of all, but it had so many character's to deal with that at times the focus became muddy. Spider-Man, simply, rocked my world.

So many of the scenes were lifted right out of the pages of the comic. When the burgler ran past Pete at the elevator, I got chills down my spine. Chills! And as for the ending, well, Raimi obviously understands Spider-Man. Peter Parker should NEVER have a clear cut victory. He defeats the Goblin, but fuckes up his best friend, Harry in the process. The girl of his dreams admits that she loves him, but his sense of responsibility won't let him commit to her. He lost his Uncle because of a moment of selfishness. A moment. He figures, if I let MJ in, really let her be close, her life will always be in danger just because of her association with him. He loves her so much that he's willing to let her go in order to keep her safe. That is love. And, sure, you could argue that he is a fool to let this red head go, but it is consistant with the character of Peter Parker.


As for Norman Osborn, I thought that Willem Dafoe did a brilliant job with him. This isn't the recent incarnation of Norman Osborn, the puppet master who pulls strings from the shadows like the Kingpin. I never really liked that Norman Osborn. This is the original Norman Osborn as Lee and Ditko painted him. A schizophrenic lunatic. A tragic character. Norman Osborn was a good man (perhaps a little too focused on his work to take time for his son), but a good man none the less. And then there's this experiment and he unleashes all of his dark id. This isn't a brilliant mastermind who is always thinking 12 steps ahead like a chess master, this is a brilliant nut job who acts on his twisted impulses. This is the Green Goblin I remember. The one I love.


And Kirsten Dunst. Could she have been any more hot as a red head? It's easy to see why Peter falls for her. But she also plays that vulnerability. The popular girl who puts up a front to hide her insecurities. Very good performance.
And Toby Maguire WAS Peter Parker. In all of his neurotic complexity. Again, a wonderful performance. And the supporting characters... J. Jonah Jameson, Aunt May and Uncle Ben were done perfectly. This was not the Brian Michael Bendis Spider-Man (as good as that is). Nor was it the Straczenski Spidey or the McFarlone Spidey. This was the Lee/Ditko Spidey all the way baby! The way he moved, the poses, the angst, all amazing. Did I think it was perfect? No, I have a few quibbles, but they are only quibbles.


First of all, the Goblin's costume. He looked like a deranged Power Ranger. I would have gone for a more rubbery, expressive look. My other quibble is that I would have liked to have seen a little bit more of the smart ass Spider-Man. More of the quips and one-liners that Spidey is famous for. They did have a little for that, but I would have liked to see more. Perhaps in the next movie.


Anyway, I give this film an A. I'm not kidding. I think it was that good. I've waited 30 odd years for them to make this movie, and they have done it right.


John the Comic Guru (87 on the WizCATs, Baby!)

Thursday, February 10, 2005

Essays on the 2004 Presidential Election

Greetings Friends,

So, I know that at this point many of us are still ticked off about the election. I have taken the liberty of putting together some Essays on the subject that will make for some good reading if you have the time. Some of you may have seen some of these. Some, perhaps not. If you have the time I invite you to peruse. If you are sick of the election at this point, ignore this post. I don't know about any of you, but I need to feel better...

Johnny D


Hey folks,

I just wanted to thank everyone who worked so hard on the Hellboy campaign. Especially since we won a LANDSLIDE VICTORY!!! Oh sure, you may hear folks in the biased, liberal, media reporting that some Texas coke-head won, but you can discount those reports right now, mister! No monosyllabic, frat-boy, snow-blower, with only one testicle could beat the RIGHT HAND OF DOOM! Hellboy is the next president of the United States and Jar Jar Binks, the V.P. (Don't worry folks, the Vice President doesn't really have any power). It's been a tough campaign, but we finally pulled it all together when we won over the psychotic, video playing voters.

Thank Zues, we finally have an independent voice for change in the White House. And if those nay-sayers in congress try to block H.B., why he'll just BEAT the crap out of them! Did I mention that he has a GIANT, STONE, RIGHT HAND!!!?

This is a good day for Democracy people! Good has triumphed over evil, just like in the comic books. That's the way I'm going to view it at any rate. Hey, it's my reality and nobody can take that away from me! Sometimes that ol' coyote energy just crosses your path, and when that happens you just have to laugh, baby, laugh, 'cause the alternative is to feel like crap, and nobody wants that.

Big Love to All,

Johnny D. (Hellboy Campaign Manager)

17 Reasons Not to Slit Your Wrists... by Michael Moore
11/5/04

Dear Friends,

Ok, it sucks. Really sucks. But before you go and cash it all in, let's, inthe words of Monty Python, 'always look on the bright side of life!' ThereIS some good news from Tuesday's election.

Here are 17 reasons not to slit your wrists:

1. It is against the law for George W. Bush to run for president again.

2. Bush's victory was the NARROWEST win for a sitting president sinceWoodrow Wilson in 1916.

3. The only age group in which the majority voted for Kerry was young adults (Kerry: 54%, Bush: 44%), proving once again that your parents are always wrong and you should never listen to them.

4. In spite of Bush's win, the majority of Americans still think thecountry is headed in the wrong direction (
56%), think the war wasn't worth fighting (51%), and don't approve of the job George W. Bush is doing (52%). (Note to foreigners: Don't try to figure this one out. It's an American thing, like Pop Tarts.)

5. The Republicans will not have a filibuster-proof 60-seat majority in theSenate. If the Democrats do their job, Bush won't be able to pack theSupreme Court with right-wing ideologues. Did I say "if the Democrats dotheir job?" Um, maybe better to scratch this one.

6. Michigan voted for Kerry! So did the entire Northeast, the birthplace ofour democracy. So did 6 of the 8 Great Lakes States. And the whole WestCoast! Plus Hawaii. Ok, that's a start. We've got most of the fresh water,all of Broadway, and Mt. St. Helens. We can dehydrate them or bury them inlava. And no more show tunes!

7. Once again we are reminded that the buckeye is a nut, and not just anyold nut -- a poisonous nut. A great nation was felled by a poisonous nut.May Ohio State pay dearly this Saturday when it faces Michigan.

8. 88% of Bush's support came from white voters. In 50 years, America willno longer have a white majority. Hey, 50 years isn't such a long time! Ifyou're ten years old and reading this, your golden years will be trulygolden and you will be well cared for in your old age.

9. Gays, thanks to the ballot measures passed on Tuesday, cannot get marriedin 11 new states. Thank God. Just think of all those wedding gifts we won'thave to buy now.

10. Five more African Americans were elected as members of Congress,including the return of Cynthia McKinney of Georgia. It's always good tohave more blacks in there fighting for us and doing the job our candidatescan't.

11. The CEO of Coors was defeated for Senate in Colorado. Drink up!

12. Admit it: We like the Bush twins and we don't want them to go away.

13. At the state legislative level, Democrats picked up a net of at least 3chambers in Tuesday's elections. Of the 98 partisan-controlled statelegislative chambers (house/assembly and senate), Democrats went into the2004 elections in control of 44 chambers, Republicans controlled 53chambers, and 1 chamber was tied. After Tuesday, Democrats now control 47 chambers, Republicans control 49 chambers, 1 chamber is tied and 1 chamber (Montana House) is still undecided.

14. Bush is now a lame duck president. He will have no greater moment thanthe one he's having this week. It's all downhill for him from here on out --and, more significantly, he's just not going to want to do all the hard workthat will be expected of him. It'll be like everyone's last month in 12thgrade -- you've already made it, so it's party time! Perhaps he'll treat thenext four years like a permanent Friday, spending even more time at theranch or in Kennebunkport. And why shouldn't he? He's already proved hispoint, avenged his father and kicked our ass.

15. Should Bush decide to show up to work and take this country down a very dark road, it is also just as likely that either of the following twoscenarios will happen: a) Now that he doesn't ever need to pander to theChristian conservatives again to get elected, someone may whisper in his ear that he should spend these last four years building "a legacy" so thathistory will render a kinder verdict on him and thus he will not push fortoo aggressive a right-wing agenda; or b) He will become so cocky andarrogant -- and thus, reckless -- that he will commit a blunder of suchmajor proportions that even his own party will have to remove him fromoffice.

16. There are nearly 300 million Americans -- 200 million of them of votingage. We only lost by three and a half million! That's not a landslide -- itmeans we're almost there. Imagine losing by 20 million. If you had 58 yardsto go before you reached the goal line and then you barreled down 55 ofthose yards, would you stop on the three yard line, pick up the ball and gohome crying -- especially when you get to start the next down on the threeyard line? Of course not! Buck up! Have hope! More sports analogies arecoming!!!

17. Finally and most importantly, over 55 million Americans voted for thecandidate dubbed "The #1 Liberal in the Senate." That's more than the totalnumber of voters who voted for either Reagan, Bush I, Clinton or Gore.Again, more people voted for Kerry than Reagan. If the media are looking fora trend it should be this -- that so many Americans were, for the first timesince Kennedy, willing to vote for an out-and-out liberal. The country hasalways been filled with evangelicals -- that is not news. What IS news isthat so many people have shifted toward a Massachusetts liberal. In fact,that's BIG news. Which means, don't expect the mainstream media, the oneswho brought you the Iraq War, to ever report the real truth about November2, 2004. In fact, it's better that they don't. We'll need the element ofsurprise in 2008.

Feeling better? I hope so. As my friend Mort wrote me yesterday, "MyRomanian grandfather used to say to me, 'Remember, Morton, this is such awonderful country -- it doesn't even need a president!'"

But it needs us. Rest up, I'll write you again tomorrow.

Yours,

Michael Moore
MMFlint@aol.comwww.michaelmoore.com

Laura's "Anthem of Hope"

(written 11/3/04)

When I woke up this morning,
I stuck my head in the sand,
For it was a woeful day
In this big America-land.

The headlines proclaimed it clearly-
"Tyrant has taken the lead",
Kerry was doomed, & the rest of the world too;
"Victory for Puppet Regime!"

While news stations broadcast the crowds
With their triumphant zombie-like cheers,
I swallowed my bile down hard
And tried to extinguish my fears,

But as the news sank in, I burned
With an anger and disbelief strong,
For injustice and greed and pollution
Had been ruling our country too long.

And just to think of the very idea
Of him leading us another four years,
Caused the dread to rise up within me
And well up my young eyes with tears.

Then kicking the clothes on my floor,
I cursed and I slandered the lot
Of the 51% who were hellbent
On re-electing this illiterate crackpot!

I imagined them standing in line, or
Sipping their coffee at work,
Or shopping & talking about nothing at all
And donating their money at church,

But I noticed my generalizations
Were getting the best out of me,
And I hated my plummenting attitude,
Poor & full of hypocrisy...

So desiring some clarity & peace,
I decided to listen instead;
So I threw on a coat and some shoes,
And went outside to clear my head

Often, in the past, I have noticed,
That the wilderness has things to say-
being one wise & familiar
With trials like pollution and pain,

And sure enough, as I walked, it spoke,
And it told me to accept the current state,
but also to use it as a catapault
for creating the change that I wanted so greatly.

Well, this message soaked in me like a poultice,
And filled me with great inspiration;
It changed me from hopeless & fearful,
To one bright & full of invention!

No longer did the upcoming term
Loom like an unavoidable pain;
Instead of WWIII or some other catastrophe,
There was hope for a renaissance of grassroots change!

And looking at it from this new perspective,
My creativity & knowledge would now be
Challenged & inspired & stretched up
To levels that I could not even forsee!

Now when Bush says "We must battle evil"
Well, by George, that's just what I'll do!
By educating myself & others,
I'll be "smoking out" the Bush lies from you!

And I'll pedal my bike more often,
And I'll learn to travel by bus,
And I'll rally & sign petitions,
And continue to support small business!

And I'll save up my money, not spend it,
And support the working rights of human beans,
and fight for the protection of our environment,
in any way and by any means!

And if ever I start to lose my steam,
I'll just look at a headline of Junior
And that's all I'll need to get fired up
And fight for democracy & honor!

Well maybe, just perhaps, if this morning
I had heard that the Democrats won,
I would've become lax & overtrusting,
Relying on them to get the important work done,

But since his Bushiness has been elected
To do his monkey business again,
Well I'm sincere & overjoyed to find myself employed
In the daily occupation of being a responsible American!

So that's why I'm choosing to sing & make merry-
'Cause tonight, I've been renewed!
This election has merited my proactive spirit,
And your Bushiness, here's thanking you!


If profanity offends you, don't read on. However, it's pretty damn funny.

From http://fuckthesouth.com/

Fuck the South. Fuck 'em. We should have let them go when they wanted to leave. But no, we had to kill half a million people so they'd stay part of our special Union. Fighting for the right to keep slaves - yeah, those are states we want to keep. And now what do we get? We're the fucking Arrogant Northeast Liberal Elite? How about this for arrogant: the South is the Real America? The Authentic America. Really? Cause we fucking founded this country, assholes. Those Founding Fathers you keep going on and on about? All that bullshit about what you think they meant by the Second Amendment giving you the right to keep your assault weapons in the glove compartment because you didn't bother to read the first half of the fucking sentence? Who do you think those wig-wearing lacy-shirt sporting revolutionaries were? They were fucking blue-staters, dickhead. Boston? Philadelphia? New York? Hello?

Think there might be a reason all the fucking monuments are up here in our backyard? No, No. Get the fuck out. We're not letting you visit the Liberty Bell and fucking Plymouth Rock anymore until you get over your real American selves and start respecting those other nine amendments. Who do you think those fucking stripes on the flag are for? Nine are for fucking blue states. And it would be 10 if those Vermonters had gotten their fucking Subarus together and broken off from New York a little earlier. Get it? We started this shit, so don't get all uppity about how real you are you Johnny-come-lately "Oooooh I've been a state for almost a hundred years" dickheads. Fuck off.

Arrogant? You wanna talk about us Northeasterners being fucking arrogant? What's more American than arrogance? Hmmm? Maybe horsies? I don't think so. Arrogance is the fucking cornerstone of what it means to be American. And I wouldn't be so fucking arrogant if I wasn't paying for your fucking bridges, bitch. All those Federal taxes you love to hate? It all comes from us and goes to you, so shut up and enjoy your fucking Tennessee Valley Authority electricity and your fancy highways that we paid for. And the next time Florida gets hit by a hurricane you can come crying to us if you want to, but you're the ones who built on a fucking swamp. "Let the Spanish keep it, it’s a shithole," we said, but you had to have your fucking orange juice. The next dickwad who says, "It’s your money, not the government's money" is gonna get their ass kicked.

Nine of the ten states that get the most federal fucking dollars and pay the least... can you guess? Go on, guess. That’s right, motherfucker, they're red states. And eight of the ten states that receive the least and pay the most? It’s too easy, asshole, they’re blue states. It’s not your money, assholes, it’s fucking our money. What was that Real American Value you were spouting a minute ago? Self reliance? Try this for self reliance: buy your own fucking stop signs, assholes. Let’s talk about those values for a fucking minute.

You and your Southern values can bite my ass because the blue states got the values over you fucking Real Americans every day of the goddamn week. Which state do you think has the lowest divorce rate you marriage-hyping dickwads? Well? Can you guess? It’s fucking Massachusetts, the fucking center of the gay marriage universe. Yes, that’s right, the state you love to tie around the neck of anyone to the left of Strom Thurmond has the lowest divorce rate in the fucking nation. Think that’s just some aberration? How about this: 9 of the 10 lowest divorce rates are fucking blue states, asshole, and most are in the Northeast, where our values suck so bad. And where are the highest divorce rates? Care to fucking guess? 10 of the top 10 are fucking red-ass we're-so-fucking-moral states. And while Nevada is the worst, the Bible Belt is doing its fucking part. But two guys making out is going to fucking ruin marriage for you? Yeah? Seems like you're ruining it pretty well on your own, you little bastards.

Oh, but that's ok because you go to church, right? I mean you do, right? Cause we fucking get to hear about it every goddamn year at election time. Yes, we're fascinated by how you get up every Sunday morning and sing, and then you're fucking towers of moral superiority. Yeah, that's a workable formula. Maybe us fucking Northerners don't talk about religion as much as you because we're not so busy sinning, hmmm? Ever think of that, you self-righteous assholes? No, you're too busy erecting giant stone tablets of the Ten Commandments in buildings paid for by the fucking Northeast Liberal Elite. And who has the highest murder rates in the nation? It ain't us up here in the North, assholes. Well this gravy train is fucking over. Take your liberal-bashing, federal-tax-leaching, confederate-flag-waving, holier-than-thou, hypocritical bullshit and shove it up your ass. And no, you can't have your fucking convention in New York next time. Fuck off.


Fourteen Characteristics of Fascism Dr. Lawrence Britt, a political scientist, wrote an article about fascism which appeared in Free Inquiry magazine -- a journal of humanist thought.

Dr. Brittstudied the fascist regimes of Hitler (Germany), Mussolini (Italy), Franco (Spain), Suharto (Indonesia), and Pinochet (Chile). He found the regimes all had 14things in common, and he calls these the identifying characteristics of fascism. The article is titled 'Fascism Anyone?', by Lawrence Britt, and appears in Free Inquiry's Spring 2003 issue on page 20.The 14 characteristics are:

1. Powerful and Continuing Nationalism -- Fascist regimes tend to make constant use of patriotic mottos, slogans, symbols, songs, and other paraphernalia. Flags are seen everywhere, as are flag symbols on clothing and in public displays.

2. Disdain for the Recognition of Human Rights -- Because of fear of enemies and the need for security, the people in fascist regimes are persuaded thathuman rights can be ignored in certain cases because of "need". The people tend to 'look the other way' or even approve of torture, summary executions,assassinations, long incarcerations of prisoners, etc.

3. Identification of Enemies/Scapegoats as a Unifying Cause -- The people are rallied into a unifying patriotic frenzy over the need to eliminate a perceivedcommon threat or foe: racial, ethnic or religious minorities; liberals; communists; socialists, terrorists, etc.

4. Supremacy of the Military -- Even when there are widespread domestic problems, the military is given a disproportionate amount of government funding,and the domestic agenda is neglected. Soldiers and military service are glamorized.

5. Rampant Sexism -- The governments of fascist nations tend to be almost exclusively male-dominated. Under fascist regimes, traditional gender roles aremade more rigid. Opposition to abortion is high, as is homophobia and anti-gay legislation and national policy.

6. Controlled Mass Media -- Sometimes the media is directly controlled by the government, but in other cases, the media is indirectly controlled bygovernment regulation, or through sympathetic media spokespeople and executives. Censorship, especially in wartime, is very common.

7. Obsession with National Security -- Fear is used as a motivational tool by the government over the masses.

8. Religion and Government are Intertwined -- Governments in fascist nations tend to use the most common religion in the nation as a tool to manipulate publicopinion. Religious rhetoric and terminology is common from government leaders, even when the major tenets of the religion are diametrically opposed to thegovernment's policies or actions.

9. Corporate Power is Protected -- The industrial and business aristocracy of a fascist nation often are the ones who put the government leaders into power,creating a mutually beneficial business/government relationship and power elite.

10. Labor Power is Suppressed -- Because the organizing power of labor is the only real threat to a fascist government, labor unions are either eliminatedentirely or are severely suppressed.

11. Disdain for Intellectuals and the Arts -- Fascist nations tend to promote and tolerate open hostility to higher education, and academia. It is not uncommonfor professors and other academics to be censored or even arrested. Free _____expression in the arts is openly attacked, and governments often refuse to fund thearts.

12. Obsession with Crime and Punishment -- Under fascist regimes, the police are given almost limitless power to enforce laws. The people are often willingto overlook police abuses, and even forego civil liberties, in the name of patriotism. There is often a national police force with virtually unlimited power infascist nations.

13. Rampant Cronyism and Corruption -- Fascist regimes almost always are governed by groups of friends and associates who appoint each other togovernment positions, and who use governmental power and authority to protect their friends from accountability. It is not uncommon in fascist regimes fornational resources and even treasures to be appropriated or even outright stolen by government leaders.

14. Fraudulent Elections -- Sometimes elections in fascist nations are a complete sham. Other times elections are manipulated by smear campaigns against (oreven the assassination of) opposition candidates, the use of legislation to control voting numbers or political district boundaries, and the manipulation of themedia. Fascist nations also typically use their judiciaries to manipulate or control elections.

[see http://www.secularhumanism.org/library/fi/britt_23_2.htm for complete text of article.]

From: Diane deGroot

Subject: Secession

Date: Fri, 12 Nov 2004 11:19:31 -0800 (PST)

Dear President Bush:

Congratulations on your victory over all us non-evangelicals. Actually, we're a bit ticked off here in California, so we're leaving you. California will now be its own country. And we're taking all the Blue States with us. In case you are not aware, that includes Hawaii,Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois, all of the North East States, and the urban half of Ohio.We spoke to God, and she agrees that this split will be beneficial to almost everybody, and especially to us in the new country of California. In fact, God is so excited about it, she's going to shift the whole country at 4:30 pm EST this Friday. Therefore, please let everyone know they need to be back in their states by then. God is going to give us the Pacific Ocean and Hollywood. In addition, we are getting San Diego. (Sorry, that's just how it goes.) But God is letting you have the KKK and country music (except the Dixie Chicks).
Just so we're clear, the country of California will be pro-choice, pro-gay marriage, and anti-war. Speaking of war, we're going to need all Blue States citizens back from Iraq. If you need people to fight in Falujah, just ask your evangelical voters. They have tons of kids they're willing to send to their deaths for absolutely no purpose. And they don't care if you don't show pictures of their kids' caskets coming home.So, you get Texas and all the former slave states, and we get the Governator and stem cell research. (We would love you to take Britney Spears off our hands, though. She IS from the south, right?)Since we get New York, you'll have to come up with your own late night TV shows because we get MTV, Letterman, the Daily Show, and Conan O'Brien. You get... well, why don't you ask your people at Fox News to come up with something entertaining? (Maybe you should just watch Crossfire. That's a really funny show.)We wish you all the best in the next four years and we hope, really hope, you find those missing weapons of mass destruction. Seriously. Soon.

Sincerely,

California

Friday, February 04, 2005

My Letter to the Creators of Grim Jack


Misters Ostrander, Truman & Gold,

Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!!! After thirteen years in the darkness, the long night is over. GrimJack is back! Praise Jesus! Praise Allah and all the Buddhas. Praise Stan Lee & Jack Kirby; the twin Gods of four color entertainment! Hence fourth, February the 2nd shall no longer be remembered as "Groundhog Day." It shall forever be know as "The Day of GrimJack." Yes, the Grinner has returned. Burst forth from the bone yard of comic book limbo. Grandfather of the grim 'n gritty anti-hero. Often imitated, never duplicated...

I could go on and on like this. I'm just so happy. In case you haven't figured it out, I'm a big fan. From the first moment I saw John Gaunt in that back up story in Starslayer (way back in 1983), I knew that there was something different about this character. Something magic. Here was a comic that combined elements of everything that I think is cool. Sci-Fi, Fantasy, Film Noir, Westerns, monsters and wonderful multi-dimensional characters all living in the multi-dimensional city of Cynosure. A place where anything could happen. And when the series ended and I heard that legal troubles would probably keep it from ever being published again, I mourned.

But now, after thirteen long years, a new GrimJack comic is finally on the stands. And gentleman, it was worth the wait. With GrimJack: Killer Instinct, you boys have knocked one out of the park. It is obvious to me that you all love this comic, and that shows in every word on every panel of this beautifully rendered book. Right now I'm not going to go into a detailed analysis of everything that I think is great about this mini-series. Instead I just want to offer a heart felt thank you for never giving up on this concept or this character. I'm along for the ride for as long as you want to tell the stories of John Gaunt and his gang of misfits. Just don't leave us waiting for another thirteen years after this mini-series ends. I don't think my heart could take it.

Sincerely,

Johnny D

P.S.: When is Uncle Elvis going to reactivate the GrimJack fan club?